3 Top Change Tips – Are you missing the essential ingredient?

Have you ever found it difficult to make changes in your life?
  • Maybe you started out to make a change but then you found yourself slipping backwards?
  • Or possibly you thought about changing but never quite found the motivation to start?
I know the feeling!

I’ve struggled with excess weight since my 20’s. I’ve known ‘the theory’ and there are so many different diets and books out there, that tell us how to lose weight (and I’ve read lots of them over the years) and yet I’ve struggled to actually achieve the body I wanted.

It always seems so simple when we read books, that tell us how to do it and yet I’ve been round the houses and back to square one MANY times! I bet some of you have been the same with your weight and the YoYo diet phenomenon is certainly familiar to millions of people.

Maybe for you, it’s not weightloss, but financial success that you’ve struggled with or possibly finding and maintaining a brilliant relationship?

Whatever it is that you struggle to change, the key ingredients to shift from repeated failure, to success are the same and so although I knew the right process (strategy) to follow, I was missing the other 2 essential ingredients.

That was until Feb 2016, when I received the diabetes diagnosis.

  • Getting that diagnosis gave me the 2 missing ingredients and within months, the weight had started to disappear and it didn’t feel hard any more.
What changed?

When I received my diabetes diagnosis in February 2016, I was able to quickly lose 2 stone and keep it off. What was the difference? Why was I able to succeed and make a permanent change when previously, I’d tried to lose weight many times without long lasting success?

The diagnosis triggered the 2 other essential ingredients that previously I’d been missing.

In the words of Tony Robbins, to effect change in our lives, we need the following 3 ingredients:

  • The right STRATEGY – We need to have a process to follow. Our formula for success.
  • The right STORY – What we think about is what we will achieve. If our thoughts aren’t creating a story of success and have images that are SO clear that they will keep us on track, then success will remain elusive.
  • The right STATE – This is often the missing piece of the ingredient and yet it’s the most critical piece of the pie.

Missing out one of the essential ingredients, will lead to a very flat cake!

In other words, having the right strategy isn’t enough if you don’t fill your mind with the right story and develop the right state, by changing your thoughts!

Looking back on my own weight loss journey, I realise, that although many times, I had the right strategy i.e. I knew exactly what food to eat and what exercise to do , I didn’t achieve my goal to lose the weight, because knowing what process to follow simply wasn’t enough to keep me focussed on taking the right action.


Because, I didn’t have a clear picture (STORY) in my mind, about what the pain of not losing the weight would be and the positive benefits that losing weight would bring to my life. Yes, I knew I wanted to lose weight because the scales told me I was overweight and my dress size was gradually increasing and yet somehow, I was able to avoid thinking about this most of the time.

  • I didn’t have a clear picture of how I wanted to be and why.

In other words, my story was like a blurry old black and white home movie. Bits of the movie were clearer than others, but then the image would crackle up.

I also didn’t have the right State. Consciously I was thinking “I’ll lose weight” but subconsciously, I didn’t believe it. My body language, my physiology and the actions I took, didn’t reflect my thoughts.

It’s amazing how changing our body language and our physiology, can trick us into feeling differently. You can read more about that, in one of my previous blog posts here: “Look At The State Of You”

When I received the Diabetes diagnosis in February 2016, suddenly my STORY changed. I developed a very clear picture in my head about the future and the pain it would bring, to me and my family. I clearly visualised the PAIN.

I also recognised the significant benefits that would be achieved in my life, by following a low carb diet and putting diabetes into remission. It meant I’d be around to enjoy life with my family!

Suddenly, the movie in my mind had changed from the blurry black and white film, to a very bright, clear and fast paced film. The story I was running in my mind was focussed and very sharp.

Looking back, I can see that my physiology also changed and I felt a determination that I’d not recognised in myself previously, which I’m sure was reflected in my communication, thoughts and body language.

What about you?

If you’ve been struggling to make a change in any area of your life, take some time to review whether you’re missing one of the essential ingredients. It’s possible to use Tony Robbin’s tips, to make changes, without waiting for a crisis to occur in our lives first. Although I recognise that it was the ‘crisis’ of the Diabetes diagnosis, which shifted the picture in my head from black and white to vivid colour, it’s possible to use the principles, to make any change at any time.

When you want to make a change, consider all the benefits of making the change and make the picture in your mind very bright. Also consider what will happen if you don’t make the change. Although moving toward what we want is great, sometimes we need the kick up the butt, of reminding ourselves what will happen if we don’t make the change, to motivate us to get started on our journey.

Do you know what you need to do to change?

Do you have a very clear picture in your head, which highlights the pain of not achieving the results and the pleasure of achieving success?

Whether you believe it or not, make your physiology reflect success. Imagine someone who has already achieved success – how did they look, what was their body language? Now copy this physiology and you’ll trick your subconscious mind, into believing that you are also successful.

If you want to make a change in your life, adopting all 3 of the strategies, will make a MASSIVE difference, to the level of your success. Finding the missing ingredient enabled me to lose 2 stone in weight and keep it off and to put Type 2 Diabetes into remission. Making my picture bigger and brighter definitely worked!

I’d love to know whether you’ve ever struggled to achieve an important change in your life or whether you’ve found a great strategy that’s helped you make the change you wanted. Leave me a comment below.



  1. January 31, 2018 / 8:20 pm

    Fantastic post. So much to give thought to. Thank you kindly for sharing. Peace, Koko

    • Wendy
      February 1, 2018 / 12:51 pm

      Thanks so much Koko – I’m really glad you found some benefits in the post – FAB! xx

  2. January 28, 2018 / 3:47 am

    Wonderfully motivating post as always Wendy. You should be so proud of all you’ve achieved and now you’re inspiring others as well. Love it. Here’s to moving continuously forward in 2018. xo

    • Wendy
      January 29, 2018 / 7:04 pm

      Aww thanks so much Miri! We can both be proud of how we’re moving forward in our lives and spurring each other on too – what could be better… xxx

      • January 29, 2018 / 7:43 pm

        Couldn’t agree more. xo

        • Wendy
          January 29, 2018 / 8:30 pm

          Big hugs Miri xxx

          • January 29, 2018 / 8:35 pm

            And straight back atcha my friend! xo

  3. January 27, 2018 / 3:53 pm

    Great post and advice, Wendy! You look absolutely fabulous!! Xx

    • Wendy
      January 27, 2018 / 9:53 pm

      Aww – thanks so much Victoria.. Very much appreciated!! xx

  4. January 24, 2018 / 11:26 pm

    My strategy is to eat, drink, sleep, and breathe NLP. Making a permanent practice of using The New Behavior Generator as a tool is another one of my tricks to get treats. All hail successful higher and better living 2018.

    By the way Wendy…you are looking great!

    • Wendy
      January 24, 2018 / 11:52 pm

      We share the same strategy Jen – I love what NLP brings to my life and I’m chinking my glass to higher and better living in 2018! Thanks so much for the lovely compliment too – I’m feeling great on the inside too Jen which is wonderful! xx

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