If you’re not experiencing the right results in your life, there’s only one thing you need to do!
Does your life sometimes feel Soooo complicated? Maybe you feel that whatever you do, you’re just not getting to where you want to be? Perhaps you feel like you need to improve your relationships or your not moving forward to where you want in your career or your simply feeling unhappy. Some people look back on their childhood and have lovely memories, whilst others may look back and blame their parents for everything that’s going wrong in their lives now.
Perhaps it’s certain situations that make you feel anxious. Gosh I’ve experienced that over the years. I had my fair share of Panic Attacks when I was younger. Then maybe there’s that underlying thought of “I’m not good enough”
Oh dear – yes, sometimes we torture ourselves don’t we? It all feels so impossibly complicated and we wonder why some people seem to breeze through life without a care in the world…..
There is a one step solution to it all!
And it’s something that we have 100% control of.
We don’t have to wait for anybody else to do something, before we can take the ONE action that will get us the results we want to experience in our life.
Here it is THE BIG SECRET….
THINK NEW THOUGHTS!
When you change your thoughts, you change your feelings and your actions and habits change and therefore you change your experience.
- Become conscious of how you’re thinking. Notice what you’re saying to yourself.
- Notice how your feeling. If you’re feeling anxious, sad or depressed you need to change your thoughts If you’re feeling happy, joyful, confident etc. you need to notice what you’re saying to yourself and do more of that!
- Ask yourself these questions: How do I want to feel? What would I need to think to feel like that?
- Write down what your new thoughts should be on a small card. Take the card out with you and look at it regularly throughout the day to remind yourself to THINK YOUR NEW THOUGHTS.
To make any change in life, we have to change our thoughts first.
Let me give you an example.
“I’m so fat, why did I let myself get so BIG… I hate how I look, I’m going to start another diet…. but
Why is it so hard?
I never seem to be able to stick to a diet or keep up with the exercise, but I’m fed up of being overweight.
I’m sick of buying frumpy clothes.
I’d love to go on holiday BUT there’s no point booking a holiday, when I’ll just feel like a beached whale.
Oh I’m depressed..
the thought of going out on Friday is making me feel anxious because I’ve got nothing to wear.
Ughhhh I give up – just one biscuit – it’ll make me feel better. I deserve it….”
This is a common thought process and applies to lots of different things we want to change. We think that we want to change something and then we look for all the ‘BUTs’. We look for all the excuses and reasons why we shouldn’t do it. Then we think about how terrible we are for being so fat/thin/rubbish/thick/geeky/unfit/obsessed etc. etc. etc. We remind ourselves about all the bad things that we’re experiencing and how bad that’s making us feel and then…
Then of course we simply repeat our behaviour, because ..
“well there’s no point trying to be different is there because it won’t work anyway will it?”
And guess what? We’re right.
Yes, we re-run our automatic thoughts over and over and then we somehow expect that we’ll get different results.
If we’re not experiencing the outcome we want to achieve, we have to re-learn how to think!
When we’re born, we are using our subconscious brain immediately. Our subconscious brain is what keeps us alive. It automatically sets of the processes and actions in our body that keeps our organs working. We breathe, we cry so somebody will feed us, we pee and poop and we sleep. Our heart keeps pumping and crying helps our lungs to expand. We don’t have to consciously think about any of those things. They are automatic actions and processes that occur because our subconscious brain makes it happen.
For the next few years, we start to learn how to do new things. We watch what other people around us do and we copy their actions and behaviours. We listen to what they’re saying and how they’re communicating and we copy their words and behaviours. At first, we have to practice and we become conscious of what we need to try and do. Like learning to walk – we see other people moving around and we copy them. We keep falling down and eventually we learn to take our first baby steps. We learn to do these new things in our conscious brain first but eventually, these things become automatic and then we don’t need to think about what we’re doing and the ‘thoughts’ move into our subconscious brain. We’ve created a new pattern – a set of automatic responses.
I remember first learning to type. Initially, as a young teenager, I had to really think about which keys to press on the typewriter (yes before laptops and computers even existed!!) My fingers would move around until I found the right letter.. Oh So Slow… But gradually, I kept practicing and eventually I knew where the keys were and without realising it, my typing became automatic. Today, I don’t even look at the keyboard, I automatically know without even thinking about it where the keys are.
I see it with my granddaughters – at age 3 they stumbled around the keyboard and now at age 5 and 8, they show me how to use the laptop!! In just 3 years, they moved from having to ask what keys to press, to knowing exactly what to do and if I’m not doing it fast enough, I’m quickly pushed out of the way “I’ll do it Nan”…
So in those early years, we’re imprinting thoughts and patterns of behaviour into our subconscious mind. We’re creating our automatic habits. We’ve programmed our brain, from the things we observe and listen to.
- What if those automatic responses are no longer serving us well?
- What if the people we learned from weren’t teaching us the right things because they’d learned the wrong ‘pattern’ themselves
Sometimes our thought process and resultant patterns of behaviour that we’ve learned is completely screwed up and the result is, that we’re feeling a bit screwed up too!!
It’s time to learn a new way of thinking and keep practicing the new way, until it shifts into our subconscious brain. Like learning anything new, we have to keep practicing over and over until it becomes automatic.
What if I thought to myself:
“I can do it AND I’m so excited AND I’m learning a new way to become healthy.
I’m really enjoying taking action every day to become fitter and healthier AND
I‘m really looking forward to treating myself to some trendy new clothes and
I can’t wait to book a holiday in the sun AND I’m going to look and feel amazing!
I’m enjoying exercising everyday because it’s making me feel so much more energetic.
I love creating new healthy meals and
I love myself and my life.
Every day I’m doing the things that make me feel great..
So maybe we should think AND HOW rather than BUT….
Do you think that this way of thinking may help me achieve a better outcome?
You’re right – it will!
This brilliant clip of Les Brown illustrates this perfectly…
What could you think differently? I’d love to hear – leave me a comment below.