Have you ever experienced that SINKING FEELING?
You know the one don’t you..
You’ve been away on holiday and had a wonderful time…
and then you arrive home and BANG!!!
The wonderful Holiday Bubble suddenly bursts!!
You’ve been living the dream on a wonderful holiday for 2 wonderful weeks, when you notice the first ‘sign’ that the euphoria is coming to an end…
Receiving the 200 Euro parking fine, on the last day of our holiday, was the first omen….
Still feeling that happy holiday ‘nothing matters’ feeling, I pushed that little ‘signal’, to the back of my mind and after one last check around the Villa, off to Malaga Airport….
Standing in the long queue snaking around Malaga airport Security Check Point, I noticed that the lady in front of me was wearing some lovely gold shoes.. similar to mine…. PING…. Was that the sound of a penny dropping to the floor.. or maybe it was my stomach starting to sink… HANG ON!!!
I don’t remember packing my gold shoes… I DIDN’T pack my gold shoes, which means they’re still at the wonderful Villa don Ricardo, probably hiding under the bed…. I’m sure I checked…. Oh well – too late now!
I finally reach Security Control and diligently pop my hand luggage bag into the plastic container and push it under the scanner. Ismile to myself as I notice my gorgeous granddaughters run ahead through the x-ray gate and off into the departure lounge.
I walk forward through the x-ray machine…
“STOP!!” …. Security Officer Interrogation…. I can see hubby’s face looking slightly concerned, as he hovers to see what’s happening. It takes a while for me to finally decipher the Spanish (languages definitely not my strong point…)
“Why you got children’s drink in your bag – you no allowed liquid – didn’t you see notice? (gesticulating)… Why you got CHILDREN’S drink when you no got child?”
I try to explain…. I’d completely forgotten that I’d put my granddaughters very small carton of juice in my bag. I can hear the ‘tuts’ of people in the queue that has now grown even longer, as a result of my little faux pas.
The security officer is having none of it..
“you no got child though?” – she’s looking very suspicious now…
“Yes – I have – they’ve already gone through…” I wimper
“Well you no go through until I see that you travelling with child!”
Hubby who had sailed through security, in front of me, now throws me his very unimpressed look, and dashes off into the departure lounge, to hunt out one of my granddaughters and bring her (very reluctantly because she was already choosing sweets in the duty free hall) back to the security gate.
Finally I’m allowed through the checkpoint, to the very loud sound of huffing and puffing of the ‘fellow passengers’ behind me.
The beautiful Spanish scenery, wonderful sunshine and amazing pool are already fading into a distant memory…
As we wandered aimlessly around the very HOT Malaga Airport, having already spent the last of our Euro’s prior to being notified of a 2 hour flight delay, I remember feeling rather smug that I’d decided to stick with the shorts and t-shirt, for our return journey. After his little ‘jog’ around the airport to find our granddaughter, hubby was looking decided sweaty! ha – serves him right for not packing my shoes.. (I know.. I’m mean…)
We eventually exit the Arrivals Hall at Manchester Airport. Maybe wearing shorts wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made…
I’m left shivering in my flimsy t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops, looking like a complete idiot, as we wait at the taxi rank.. Is it just me that thinks that somehow the warm Spanish weather will follow us back to Manchester?
Is that a look of ‘smugness’ on hubby’s face as he stands cosily in his jacket? Yes – I definitely recognise that SMUG look…
We sit silently in the taxi, the air and the atmosphere cooling by the second, and I find myself fixated on the taxi fare meter. It seems to be clicking up faster than the plane flew back to Manchester and I couldn’t help wonder why the taxi that took us to the airport, at the start of our holiday cost just £13, but this one taking us home has now exceeded £30?
As the taxi pulls up outside the house, the sinking feeling sinks ever deeper… ughhhh….. the grass is overgrown, the rose petals from the dead roses cover the driveway, looking brown, shrivelled, wrinkly and decidedly forlorn (that’s the roses I’m talking about not my face… just to be clear!!!)
and THE WEEDS – wow they’ve grown… Infact….The triffids have landed and taken root!!
(I always hated that book – it terrified me, in much the same way as the weeds are now…)
Staggering up the gravel path, with 2 very heavy suitcases, full of dirty washing, somehow doesn’t generate quite the same ‘happy and excited’ feeling as carrying them out to the taxi, when we set out at the beginning of our holiday, full of expectation and excitement….
Back to earth with a definite BUMP!
“What did you do with the door keys?” says hubby
Oh hang on – why was it MY responsibility to do something with the door keys?
“hrrumph… mmmmmm… oh yes I remember now, I put them in that little black handbag. Where DID I put that bag when I was packing?
Brrrrrrr – the wind AND the look on hubby’s face are decidedly freezing…..
“don’t worry, I’ve remembered where I put it ” well sort of …. “it’s definitely in one of the cases!”
So now we’re sitting on the front door step, emptying out the dirty washing from 2 suitcases, all over the drive.. (obviously the keys weren’t going to be in the first suitcase we checked were they?), and as the rain lashes down and the wind howls around our ears, I’m forced to feign a ‘happy smile’ and try nonchalantly to catch the dirty knickers that are now blowing down the driveway, heading straight toward the face of our new next door neighbour, who pops his face over the fence… (I’m sure he was pretending not to notice the luminous orange Brigid Jones style knickers dangling from my hand….)
“Oh your home then? Did you have a good time?”(his eyes definitely ARE being drawn back to the knickers…) “Back to reality now though eh…
You didn’t bring the sunshine back with you did you?”
“haha… ” I reply ‘brightly’… “no we didn’t did we.” (silently – “aghhhhhhh” )
Yep – he’s right there… back to reality!
Finally, we open the front door, and hubby kicks the huge pile of letters and junk mail to one side. My nose puckers up… WHAT IS THAT SMELL!!!
“Stick the kettle on Wendy”
“hrrrumphhhhh – I would if there was any milk – unless you want to drink this cup of MOULDY tea you left festering 2 weeks ago!!!”
May as well open some of those letters then….
I have a quick flick through the pile of post, looking for any envelopes that seem different… unusual…not quite the norm…?
I’m not disappointed – yes there it is the one in the envelope with IMPORTANT – This is not a circular, written in bold lettering on the front and YIKEs… return address ….. Lancashire Police Constabulary!!
Yep the final straw for my stomach….
A Speeding Ticket – Hubby had been caught on candid camera pre-holiday!!! No laughter now that’s for sure….
Yes – we’ve been back in the UK for 1 hour and it’s time to Beam me up Scotty!! For those of you old enough to remember Startreck, you’ll know what I mean…. I can’t believe they’ve not worked out how to teleport yet? I need to teleport BACK to Villa don Ricardo… pronto!!
Hang on… is that a holiday brochure in that pile of junk mail?
Maybe I need to go back and re-read that blog post I wrote last year……. what was it called again… SEARCH…. Phew – there it is….
“Bryan – I’m going in the Brilliance Within Hut – come and get me when it’s time to go away on holiday again…
Oh and throw those bathroom scales in the bin… they must be faulty!!!”