Living life courageously and bravely, doesn’t mean that you don’t have fears and worries, it simply means that you continue to move forward despite these and that you use your ‘Fears’ to inspire you to do more and put more effort in to bash through those ‘blocks’…
What happens though when you come across an obstacle that you don’t know how to climb over?
I love this Kofe Annan quote and there is one extra thing I would add… Know yourself – Yep
AND Know When You Need Someone To Help You Get There!
- Sometimes we all need a helping hand. Businesses would collapse if they didn’t have individuals with individual skills that combined with other individual’s skills become amazing teams that create brilliant businesses.
- The wealthiest and wisest people in the World, are those that recognise that they need to surround themselves with a brilliant team. They don’t beat themselves up for not being able to do everything themselves, they simply recognise what they are brilliant at and find people who are brilliant at other things to help them.
Our lives are the same.. We aren’t all brilliant at everything and sometimes we hold ourselves back from living a more spectacular life, because we think we ‘aren’t good enough’, instead of simply acknowledging:
- what we are already great at
- what we need to learn to get better
- what we could get somebody else to help us with
As children, we have no difficulty asking for help do we? We wouldn’t be able to talk our language if we hadn’t had people around us to encourage us and show us how… Why then as adults do some of us find it hard to ask for help? There have been many times over the years, when I held myself back from doing things because I ‘don’t like to ask’… Somehow, it felt like I was ‘failing’ if I needed to ask for help to do something.
“I’m independent”…. Mmmm..
Thank goodness I learned that sometimes it shows Strength and not Weakness, to accept that we can’t do something and to ask for help to learn how to do it.. or to simply acknowledge that we don’t need to know how to do it because we’ll get to our end goal more quickly by allowing somebody who already knows how, to do it for us!
There are times that we all need someone who can show us how. Those people don’t even need to be ‘here with us’… we can learn through books, the internet, training, coaches etc. It’s important to acknowledge what skills you have, what your strengths are and to understand also what you don’t know and can either learn or bring in a new ‘life team member’ to help you instead..
Build yourself a great ‘life team’ and recognise that sometimes you need a helping hand or you’ll simply get stuck in a rut and limit the possibility of leading an amazing life…
The first self-help book I ever read was ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. She doesn’t know it, but Susan Jeffers became part of my Life Team when I read her book. It was illuminating and highlighted to me, that up to that point in my life (and many times since when I fall back into old rooted habits), I was limiting my life as a result of my fears and my thoughts that I wasn’t good enough or that I couldn’t live up to the expectations of others and of not being perfect.
Take a look at Susan’s website and her 5 Truths About Fear… http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/5truths.cfm
As a result of the feeling of not being ‘good enough’, in my early career, I didn’t put myself forward for promotion and then I kicked myself afterwards when someone who I knew didn’t do the job as well as I did, got the job. I didn’t learn from this though – I continued to hold myself back. “I’ll put in for it when I’ve…. taken the next qualification…” … or one of many other excuses that I created in my mind… You know the ones don’t you? Those reasons why NOT to do something…..
Once I read the Susan Jeffers book, I began to change the way I thought and it led me on a journey of self discovery that continues to this day. I began to ‘apply’ for the promotions and even when I suffered full-blown panic attacks (another story for another time), I remembered Susan Jeffer’s philosophy to ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, so instead of allowing the ‘panic attacks’ to block me, I took charge – I went for hypnotherapy and successfully managed to control the attacks. I moved from the bottom rung to become a Senior Manager and successfully helped others to transform their lives and careers also by learning to become a hypnotherapist myself too..
Yep – I felt the Fear and Did It Anyway’.. I literally – did feel the fear in those interviews and I know that anybody who’s ever suffered a panic attack will appreciate what a frightening experience it is!
Anthony Robins also became part of my ‘life team’ when I watched an infomercial during the night – one night when I’d got up because I couldn’t sleep, worried and fears about my life were keeping me awake.. Yep – I saw the advert for his series of ‘Get The Edge’ CD’s and purchased the programme. He doesn’t know it or me and yet Tony Robbins is definitely part of my ‘life team’… I go back to him regularly for inspiration via YouTube etc. One day soon, I’ll attend a live workshop with him…. It’s on my Vision Board so I know it will happen!
Whilst I know the ‘theory’ now and have many times, successfully implemented the ‘practice’, there are many times that somehow I ‘forget’.. and those negative voices take control of my head and paralyse my progress. Let me give you an example:
For the last 6 months, I recognised that I needed to move my blog to a ‘self hosted’ blog and I began my research. It all sounded very complicated and technical. I read lots of blogs and watched lots of YouTube videos and my FEAR grew… I was ‘put off’ rather than inspired to make the move.
Those negative voices in my head, didn’t just creep in, they leapt in at high volume – shrieking at me.. “You can’t do this – you don’t know enough” “Who do you think you are… Nobody will follow you if you haven’t got the ‘WordPress Reader’ to get your blog post out there” “You’ll lose all your followers and lose the great friends and connections you’ve already made” “You’re blog site isn’t ‘professional looking'”……
BUT – it was on my VISION BOARD that I wanted to be Self Hosted.. and when I looked at my board a couple of weeks ago, I recognised that my ‘fears’ were becoming larger in my own head, because of how I was thinking… I certainly wasn’t putting into practice the guidance of my ‘life team coaches’ Tony Robbins or Susanne Jeffers…
How could the Law of Attraction possibly work to show me the way forward when it was being blocked by all my self-created negative energy. At that moment, I remembered my dad’s philosophy in life:
“What one man can do, you can do also”… and that night just before I drifted off to sleep, I saw a very clear picture of my dad – rushing forward toward me with a beaming smile… Make of that what you will.. My imagination or something Spiritual?
The next day, I decided it was time to use my ‘FEAR’ as a driver to inspire me and we always have this choice. To choose whether our Doubts and Fears will hold us back or drive us forward. I reminded myself of what I speak to others about in my Hypnotherapy work… “To Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway”… Why is it that when we often know what to do, we still don’t do it?
Once I made the shift in my mind to use my ‘Fear’ to drive me through my blocks with determination, I realised that I needed help and that even if I had to pay for it, this would achieve a successful outcome rather than just becoming ‘rooted’ and fixed in one spot.
I typed into Google ‘How to Move to a Self Hosted’ Blog and this time, rather than seeing articles that grew my fear, the second article I clicked on was from Pipdig… offering a Free Transfer service. When I read the article, it seemed too good to be true and immediately, I noticed those little voices creeping in through the door of my mind.. “If it sounds too good to be true, it’s probably rubbish..” Yep – they were there.. my limiting beliefs!
Although I initially discarded the article, it kept poking back in my mind and then I remembered that several months ago, my son’s girlfriend had sent me the name of a great company that she’d used for her blog. At the time, I’d simply thanked her and filed it away, believing that it would ‘cost too much’ and that I ‘should be able to do it myself’…. Then doing NOTHING!
Hang on… what do I suggest to other people – we all need a helping hand so why am I limiting my progress because I’m not ‘technical enough’…… “What was the name of that company?… let me just check…”……..
Yes – you guessed it right – Pipdig!
I’d been delivered the message months before, when I first started out on my ‘research quest’ and yet I’d disregarded it… and now my mind had opened back up to the possibility of it actually BEING POSSIBLE to go Self Hosted, the message was re-delivered… Why hadn’t I noticed this article on all the previous occasions when I’d done my ‘google research’?
It’s the same throughout our lives.. so often, the message that we need is right in front of our noses and yet we aren’t ready to receive it, so we don’t see it or hear it do we? What messages are you missing, because you think you don’t ‘deserve it’ or that you aren’t ‘good enough’ to do something?
Once I changed my own thoughts, my mind opened up to the possibility that it may be achievable and that yes – if one man can do it then I can too…. My FEAR didn’t disappear, but how I thought about it changed. I shifted my mindset and told the ‘Negative Committee’ to “sit down and shut the feck up!” I took back control of my thoughts and the messages I needed to hear and see were immediately presented to me…
I recognised that I needed some new people on my ‘life team’ and I contacted Pipdig and placed my order… within just 4 days my ‘Self Hosted Blog’ was up and running and now I’m enjoying ‘tweaking’ the layout and site design.
ALL my fears were completely unfounded. It wasn’t complicated because Pipdig made it easy. I don’t have great technical knowledge and yet at Zero additional cost (I would need to pay the hosting company and purchased a ‘blog theme’, regardless of whether I’d gone through Pipdig or not), all my posts were successfully transferred from WordPress.com to WordPress.org. As far as I can tell, all my ‘followers’ have also transferred across and I haven’t even lost any of the wonderful ‘comments’ that I love to read on my posts.
So Fear held me back for a few months and yet Fear also drove me forward with determination to overcome the blocks that I’d created in my head and to bring some new inspiration into my ‘life team’ to help me overcome the obstacles in my way!
Was I a failure because I recognised I needed help and asked for it?
We often have an idea of what we want and we allow our ‘Negative Committee’ and the ‘Nay Sayers’ in our life to stop us moving forward.. We allow the doubts to hold us in Limbo. We know what we want to do, what we ‘should do’ and yet we ‘don’t do’… because our Fear of not being good enough, perfect enough, capable enough, technical enough etc. etc. etc. to fill our mind.
STOP – You are good enough, to find someone to help you, if there are things you don’t know yourself. You are capable of recognising what new things you need to learn yourself or indeed you are capable of simply allowing other people to help you because you don’t need to know it all or do it all yourself anyway – DO YOU?
Without upsetting all the cat lovers out there….sorry Samanthamurdoch blog (- check out Samantha’s blog for some very amusing cat stories or crystal therapy..), there’s an old English saying: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” ….please be assured that I’d never want to skin a cat.. however, it does mean that there’s always an alternative way to do something, even if the ‘thing you want to do’ feels hard or even impossible, once we open our minds to the possibilities in life…
My career progressed once I overcame my own thoughts of ‘not being good enough, qualified enough, capable enough’ etc. I struggled to know how to overcome the panic attacks that then blocked me from progressing …. but I found a ‘man who could’ help me and after being successfully helped via Hypnotherapy, I became determined to be able to ‘do it for myself’… and to help other also.
Once I opened my mind up with determination, to overcome the blocks and doubts holding me back that I’d simply created in my mind and which had ‘drawn me’ to the articles filled with how difficult transferring to Self Hosted was, I was able to make the transfer within just 4 days. I found a man who could and he helped me at no additional cost.. Phil at Pipdig was brilliant and thanks to his support and guidance, I was able to ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’…. and in the end my dad’s guidance also helped me to believe that “What one man can do, I can do also”… even if I have to find the right person to help me along the journey.
I’m not affiliated to Pipdig so this is genuine ‘credit where credit is due’ and here’s a link to their site for anyone else thinking about ‘taking a leap of faith’ to go Self Hosted: https://www.pipdig.co/
Many of you will already have read posts about my recent trips to the Andy Harrington Events in London – he is definitely on my Life Team and has inspired me to break down barriers and reach out for my dreams with his philosophy of Turning Passion Into Profit… Read about my experience here: https://brilliancewithin.com/2017/03/28/breaking-down-barriers/
Here is an affiliate link if you want to find out more and learn how you can transform your life too.. Andy holds events around the World so take a look: https://inspwr.isrefer.com/go/passion/a15974
What are you holding back from trying because you think ‘it’s not possible’… because undoubtedly in most cases, it probably is, even if you just need to find the right people to give you a helping hand. Who do you need in your Life Team to help you?