The results we experience in our lives are as a direct result of the thoughts we think and the words we speak to ourselves and to others.
I’m sure many of you will have heard about the benefits of using ‘positive affirmations’ and yet often, we think we’re being ‘positive’, when in reality we are reinforcing a ‘negative’ belief and therefore we emit a negative vibration, which produces the opposite effect of what we’re trying to achieve.
Let me explain….
The words we use directly link to our emotions. This is the case for both our ‘internal’ and ‘external’ conversations.
Have you ever asked someone how they feel and where they seemed ok before you asked the question, as they started talking about themselves, they either become animated and enthusiastic – their words and their body language are full of excitement and hope, because things are going great in their life. On the other hand, they seem to become ‘sad’ before your very eyes and the more they talk about what’s going wrong in their life, the more depressed they seem to become and their words are reflected in their body language… their shoulders sag, their eyes look dull and their words are downright depressing?
At the end of the conversation, with the person who is feeling ‘on top of the world’ and uses lots of positive language like great, brilliant, I’ve achieved…. It’s amazing etc. etc., it’s likely that you feel ‘lifted’ by their positive vibe. I’m sure you’ve come across people who have that ‘great vibe’ i.e. they are emitting a positive vibration out into the World.
How do you feel though at the end of a conversation with someone who is ‘down and depressed’… do you feel full of the joys of spring or do you pick up on their ‘negative vibe’?
What we talk about to ourselves and others and the language that we use, will either help the Law of Attraction deliver your dreams or it will ensure that you get more of the same crap that you may have experienced previously.
Therefore, it makes sense that by pro-actively changing and controlling our language and our conversations, will change the vibration that we are sending out and as a result, will change the outcome.
- First though, you need to become aware of your language and conversations.. you need to listen to yourself and notice the words that you’re using both internally and externally.
Have you ever had a ‘friend’ who supports you when you’re down and encourages you to talk about everything that’s going wrong in your life? That friend or family member who backs you up when you’re telling them how bad your relationship is or how terrible your boss is or how naughty your children are… and that ‘friend’ agrees with you all the way….
Until things start to go right in your life.. things are looking up, you’ve turned a corner in your relationship, you’ve been promoted at work and your kids are a joy to be with….. and then suddenly that ‘friend’ seems to disappear and isn’t interested in hearing how positive things are in your life right now?
Your negative language will attract negative people and positive language…. well it repels the naysayers in your life and attracts positive people into your life instead.
What you ‘speak’ impacts on your ‘vibe’ and therefore on your Law of Attraction Results!
Now I’m not saying that you have to become ‘happy clappy’ – brilliant if that works for you, but it may not feel comfortable and natural for everyone.
It is possible however, to make small changes to your words, that will have a phenomenal impact on your behaviour, your ‘vibe’ and therefore what you attract into your life…
- Therefore the language we use and how it connects with our emotions impacts significantly on whether our dreams become our reality and whether or not the Law of Attraction can ‘deliver’ positive or negative results.
Have you ever said to a child ‘Be careful.. don’t fall’ and yet the child immediately falls over? That is because the brain doesn’t recognise a ‘negative’ word.. and therefore doesn’t register the ‘don’t’ and only registers the ‘fall’. So when you say to a child ‘don’t fall’, the child’s subconscious brain will focus on ‘fall’.
In effect, you are literally instructing the child to ‘fall’. This wasn’t your intention, you were simply trying to protect your child and instead, the language you used, probably focussed their intent on ‘fall’ and therefore that’s exactly what happens.. the child falls.
I’m guessing that your intention was that you wanted the child to ‘stay safe’ and yet the outcome was the opposite of your intention, in many instances, as a result of the language you used.
This also happens when we use negative ‘internal dialogue’ when we say to ourselves things like: “I don’t want to be fat”; “I’m not going to smoke”; “I’m not going to eat unhealthy food”… and then we become or remain ‘fat’, we continue to smoke and we continue to eat unhealthy food.
This is because our subconscious mind is responding to our instruction.
Our subconscious mind doesn’t recognise the words ‘not or don’t and therefore it receives the instruction: I want to be fat, I’m going to smoke, I’m going to eat unhealthy food….. and simply carries out the instruction it has received..
It’s the same with the Law of Attraction…
If we use ‘negative’ language, we are focussing on the ‘negative’ and therefore we emit a ‘negative’ vibration and we increase the likelihood of a ‘negative delivery’ from the Universe… more ‘crap’ lands at your door….
Have you ever added something onto your Vision Board or had a goal in your life, that New Year Resolution for example and then a while later when you haven’t achieved your ‘vision or goal’, you say something like: “I haven’t lost weight yet” “I’m still smoking” “I still haven’t been on that dream holiday” ….. These are all statements that emit ‘negativity’ and cast doubt on the original vision or goal that you had.
Then what happens?
You start to lose the positive momentum of adding the picture to your Vision Board and create ‘doubt’ in your mind that these things are achievable.
Doubt reinforces a ‘fear based belief’…. maybe you start thinking that these things aren’t possible for you… “they only happen to other people” ….. don’t they?
At this point, do you think you are sending out a positive or negative vibration?
Of course you’re emitting a ‘negative vibration’ and ‘What you Focus On is what you get!’
And it seems to just get worse, because instead of noticing all the ‘positive signs’ that the Law of Attraction is sending out, you start to focus on the ‘negative signs’… and then what do you think you notice? Oh Yep – it’s more ‘negative signs’…..
- Oh dear – yes your back in a vicious circle and the negative spiral down back to your not so comfortable comfort zone, which is familiar to you…
So now what do you do?
You start to add more negative language.. “Oh – it’s rubbish – these things never happen for me”, “It’s impossible – what was I even thinking adding that picture onto my board”…..
Now what do you think would happen if you changed the words you use to yourself and to others?
What if, instead of using words like ‘don’t, can’t, haven’t, won’t’ etc. you flip it and start to use language that inspires hope and opens your mind up to the possibility of experiencing something new and better in your life – do you think it might make a difference to how you feel? Do you think emotionally you may feel more positive and therefore do you think you may emit a more positive vibration?
Let me give you a couple of comparison examples:
“I hate being 14 stone and don’t want to be fat anymore” becomes “I’m enjoying my journey towards my ideal weight of 10 stone”
“I don’t want to smoke anymore” becomes “I’m becoming healthier and I’m enjoying filling my lungs with fresh air”
Which statements do you think are likely to send out a more positive vibration into the world and also a more positive instruction to your subconscious brain?
Clearly it’s the RED statements as these provide a sense of ‘hope’ and emotionally, you feel better and more optimistic, because you are focussing on your vision of what you want to achieve i.e. ‘my ideal weight’, rather than ‘being fat’.
Then of course there’s the other words… “Should” and “But”… yep – in most circumstances that you use these, they have a negative connotation to them.
Has someone ever given you ‘positive feedback’ that actually makes you feel useless, worthless and lessens your self esteem….
“Hey Wendy, it was great when you did that BUT maybe next time you could do this as well….” Do you hear anything ‘positive’ in that feedback? Probably not, because you focus on all the words after the ‘BUT’.. in other words, the positive feedback is lost and you feel that everything you’ve done is wrong because of the use of the BUT word….
Now by simply changing the BUT to AND, the ‘feedback’ has a much more positive feel to it.. That’s because ‘AND’ adds to what your already doing to help you improve and grow whereas the ‘BUT’ simply takes away from the good things you’ve done.
Start to notice the language you are using, particularly words like:
Notice the context you are using them and try the ‘Flip It’ technique. Instead of “I don’t want to be fat, smoke etc. ” say “I’m becoming… healthier, slimmer, fitter” etc.
I talk a bit more about how to ‘flip it’ in a previous post – check it out via the link below: https://brilliancewithin.com/2016/09/27/do-you-know-what-you-want/
Another small ‘shift’ you can make with your language, is the ‘tense’ that you are using..
Often we add something onto our Vision Board or our Goals and we say things like:
“It will be great if this happens” or “How amazing would it be if I got that ‘dream job’ or “my life would change if I had more money”……
Statements like this may initially seem ‘positive’, however, they are all casting ‘doubt’ on the ‘dream’. They put the dream into the ‘future tense’ with words like ‘will’ and ‘would’ and also create doubt that the dream is possible by the use of the word ‘if’… IF means it may or may not happen…
With the Law of Attraction, we need to use words that make it feel like our journey has already begun as this opens our minds to the possibility of our dreams becoming reality and opens the pathway to even greater things arriving, because we start to notice the ‘signs’…
What about if you changed the words and said something like…
“It’s great that this is starting to happen” – the use of ‘it’s’, puts the action into the present tense… or “I’m working toward getting my dream job by upskilling myself with this great ‘on line training’
It’s always possible to make a start on ‘doing something’ that means the journey has already started and therefore it is believable to your subconscious brain that you are already changing and your subconscious brain will then be looking out for more ‘positive signs’ to shove under your nose..
It gets you ready to receive bigger and better things that are ‘en route’ for delivery from the Universe…
- Change the ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’
- Change the ‘aren’t to ‘am’
- Change the ‘If’ to ‘It’s’
- Change the ‘But’ to ‘And’
- Change the ‘I Should’ to ‘I am’
- Listen to yourself and what you are saying to yourself and to other people
- STOP discussing the ‘negatives’ and focus on the ‘positives’ (make sure you listen to your internal dialogue as well as your external dialogue)
- Avoid the ‘naysayers’ and look for people who emit a ‘positive vibe’ and spend time with them instead.
Your dreams are waiting for you to open up the route for them to arrive…
Change your language to Change your life!