Law of Attraction Part 5: How To Change Your Language To Change Your Life…

Law of Attraction Part 5: How To Change Your Language To Change Your Life…

The results we experience in our lives are as a direct result of the thoughts we think and the words we speak to ourselves and to others.

I’m sure many of you will have heard about the benefits of using ‘positive affirmations’ and yet often, we think we’re being ‘positive’, when in reality we are reinforcing a ‘negative’ belief and therefore we emit a negative vibration, which produces the opposite effect of what we’re trying to achieve.

Let me explain….

The words we use directly link to our emotions. This is the case for both our ‘internal’ and ‘external’ conversations.

Have you ever asked someone how they feel and where they seemed ok before you asked the question, as they started talking about themselves, they either become animated and enthusiastic – their words and their body language are full of excitement and hope, because things are going great in their life. On the other hand, they seem to become ‘sad’ before your very eyes and the more they talk about what’s going wrong in their life, the more depressed they seem to become and their words are reflected in their body language… their shoulders sag, their eyes look dull and their words are downright depressing?

At the end of the conversation, with the person who is feeling ‘on top of the world’ and uses lots of positive language like great, brilliant, I’ve achieved…. It’s amazing etc. etc., it’s likely that you feel ‘lifted’ by their positive vibe. I’m sure you’ve come across people who have that ‘great vibe’ i.e. they are emitting a positive vibration out into the World.

How do you feel though at the end of a conversation with someone who is ‘down and depressed’… do you feel full of the joys of spring or do you pick up on their ‘negative vibe’?

What we talk about to ourselves and others and the language that we use, will either help the Law of Attraction deliver your dreams or it will ensure that you get more of the same crap that you may have experienced previously.

Therefore, it makes sense that by pro-actively changing and controlling our language and our conversations, will change the vibration that we are sending out and as a result, will change the outcome.

  • First though, you need to become aware of your language and conversations.. you need to listen to yourself and notice the words that you’re using both internally and externally.

Have you ever had a ‘friend’ who supports you when you’re down and encourages you to talk about everything that’s going wrong in your life? That friend or family member who backs you up when you’re telling them how bad your relationship is or how terrible your boss is or how naughty your children are… and that ‘friend’ agrees with you all the way….

Until things start to go right in your life.. things are looking up, you’ve turned a corner in your relationship, you’ve been promoted at work and your kids are a joy to be with….. and then suddenly that ‘friend’ seems to disappear and isn’t interested in hearing how positive things are in your life right now?

Your negative language will attract negative people and positive language…. well it repels the naysayers in your life and attracts positive people into your life instead.

What you ‘speak’ impacts on your ‘vibe’ and therefore on your Law of Attraction Results!

Now I’m not saying that you have to become ‘happy clappy’ – brilliant if that works for you, but it may not feel comfortable and natural for everyone.

It is possible however, to make small changes to your words, that will have a phenomenal impact on your behaviour, your ‘vibe’ and therefore what you attract into your life…

  • Therefore the language we use and how it connects with our emotions impacts significantly on whether our dreams become our reality and whether or not the Law of Attraction can ‘deliver’ positive or negative results.


Have you ever said to a child ‘Be careful.. don’t fall’ and yet the child immediately falls over? That is because the brain doesn’t recognise a ‘negative’ word.. and therefore doesn’t register the ‘don’t’ and only registers the ‘fall’. So when you say to a child ‘don’t fall’, the child’s subconscious brain will focus on ‘fall’.

In effect, you are literally instructing the child to ‘fall’. This wasn’t your intention, you were simply trying to protect your child and instead, the language you used, probably focussed their intent on ‘fall’ and therefore that’s exactly what happens.. the child falls.

I’m guessing that your intention was that you wanted the child to ‘stay safe’ and yet the outcome was the opposite of your intention, in many instances, as a result of the language you used.

This also happens when we use negative ‘internal dialogue’ when we say to ourselves things like: “I don’t want to be fat”; “I’m not going to smoke”; “I’m not going to eat unhealthy food”… and then we become or remain ‘fat’, we continue to smoke and we continue to eat unhealthy food.

This is because our subconscious mind is responding to our instruction.

Our subconscious mind doesn’t recognise the words ‘not or don’t and therefore it receives the instruction: I want to be fat, I’m going to smoke, I’m going to eat unhealthy food….. and simply carries out the instruction it has received..

It’s the same with the Law of Attraction…

If we use ‘negative’ language, we are focussing on the ‘negative’ and therefore we emit a ‘negative’ vibration and we increase the likelihood of a ‘negative delivery’ from the Universe… more ‘crap’ lands at your door….

Have you ever added something onto your Vision Board or had a goal in your life, that New Year Resolution for example and then a while later when you haven’t achieved your ‘vision or goal’, you say something like: “I haven’t lost weight yet” “I’m still smoking” “I still haven’t been on that dream holiday” ….. These are all statements that emit ‘negativity’ and cast doubt on the original vision or goal that you had.

Then what happens?

You start to lose the positive momentum of adding the picture to your Vision Board and create ‘doubt’ in your mind that these things are achievable.

Doubt reinforces a ‘fear based belief’…. maybe you start thinking that these things aren’t possible for you… “they only happen to other people” ….. don’t they?

At this point, do you think you are sending out a positive or negative vibration?

Of course you’re emitting a ‘negative vibration’ and ‘What you Focus On is what you get!’

And it seems to just get worse, because instead of noticing all the ‘positive signs’ that the Law of Attraction is sending out, you start to focus on the ‘negative signs’… and then what do you think you notice?  Oh Yep – it’s more ‘negative signs’…..

  • Oh dear – yes your back in a vicious circle and the negative spiral down back to your not so comfortable comfort zone, which is familiar to you…

So now what do you do?

You start to add more negative language.. “Oh – it’s rubbish – these things never happen for me”, “It’s impossible – what was I even thinking adding that picture onto my board”…..

Now what do you think would happen if you changed the words you use to yourself and to others?

What if, instead of using words like ‘don’t, can’t, haven’t, won’t’ etc. you flip it and start to use language that inspires hope and opens your mind up to the possibility of experiencing something new and better in your life do you think it might make a difference to how you feel? Do you think emotionally you may feel more positive and therefore do you think you may emit a more positive vibration?

Let me give you a couple of comparison examples:

“I hate being 14 stone and don’t want to be fat anymore” becomes “I’m enjoying my journey towards my ideal weight of 10 stone”

“I don’t want to smoke anymore” becomes “I’m becoming healthier and I’m enjoying filling my lungs with fresh air”

Which statements do you think are likely to send out a more positive vibration into the world and also a more positive instruction to your subconscious brain?

Clearly it’s the RED statements as these provide a sense of ‘hope’ and emotionally, you feel better and more optimistic, because you are focussing on your vision of what you want to achieve i.e. ‘my ideal weight’, rather than ‘being fat’.

Then of course there’s the other words… “Should” and “But”… yep – in most circumstances that you use these, they have a negative connotation to them.

Has someone ever given you ‘positive feedback’ that actually makes you feel useless, worthless and lessens your self esteem….

“Hey Wendy, it was great when you did that BUT maybe next time you could do this as well….”  Do you hear anything ‘positive’ in that feedback? Probably not, because you focus on all the words after the ‘BUT’.. in other words, the positive feedback is lost and you feel that everything you’ve done is wrong because of the use of the BUT word….

Now by simply changing the BUT to AND, the ‘feedback’ has a much more positive feel to it.. That’s because ‘AND’ adds to what your already doing to help you improve and grow whereas the ‘BUT’ simply takes away from the good things you’ve done.

Start to notice the language you are using, particularly words like:

  • Don’t
  • Can’t
  • Haven’t
  • Wont
  • Doesn’t
  • But
  • Should

Notice the context you are using them and try the ‘Flip It’ technique. Instead of “I don’t want to be fat, smoke etc. ” say “I’m becoming… healthier, slimmer, fitter” etc.

I talk a bit more about how to ‘flip it’ in a previous post – check it out via the link below:

Another small ‘shift’ you can make with your language, is the ‘tense’ that you are using..

Often we add something onto our Vision Board or our Goals and we say things like:

“It will be great if this happens” or “How amazing would it be if I got that ‘dream job’ or “my life would change if I had more money”……

Statements like this may initially seem ‘positive’, however, they are all casting ‘doubt’ on the ‘dream’. They put the dream into the ‘future tense’ with words like ‘will’ and ‘would’ and also create doubt that the dream is possible by the use of the word ‘if’… IF means it may or may not happen…

With the Law of Attraction, we need to use words that make it feel like our journey has already begun as this opens our minds to the possibility of our dreams becoming reality and opens the pathway to even greater things arriving, because we start to notice the ‘signs’…

What about if you changed the words and said something like…

“It’s great that this is starting to happen” – the use of ‘it’s’, puts the action into the present tense… or “I’m working toward getting my dream job by upskilling myself with this great ‘on line training’ 

It’s always possible to make a start on ‘doing something’ that means the journey has already started and therefore it is believable to your subconscious brain that you are already changing and your subconscious brain will then be looking out for more ‘positive signs’ to shove under your nose..

It gets you ready to receive bigger and better things that are ‘en route’ for delivery from the Universe…

To summarise:

  • Change the ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’
  • Change the ‘aren’t to ‘am’
  • Change the ‘If’ to ‘It’s’
  • Change the ‘But’ to ‘And’
  • Change the ‘I Should’ to ‘I am’
  • Listen to yourself and what you are saying to yourself and to other people
  • STOP discussing the ‘negatives’ and focus on the ‘positives’ (make sure you listen to your internal dialogue as well as your external dialogue)
  • Avoid the ‘naysayers’ and look for people who emit a ‘positive vibe’ and spend time with them instead.

Your dreams are waiting for you to open up the route for them to arrive…

Change your language to Change your life!






  1. April 20, 2017 / 9:03 pm

    I agree with every word. No one can pre-empt or rehearse any impending disaster by being a pessimist or hoping for less. It is always not very easy to suppress negative thoughts and to focus on a positive side. But I would rather take on any challenge with courage than looking for excuses.😊xx

    • Wendy
      April 20, 2017 / 9:58 pm

      Oh you’re amazing – I can just tell by your smile and your eyes that you have courage.. xx

  2. April 11, 2017 / 2:54 pm

    I absolutely love this and completely agree with the notion of positive talking.. your vibe attracts your tribe! 😉

    • April 11, 2017 / 3:24 pm

      Aww thanks! How fab and lucky I am to be surrounded with some great and positive fellow bloggers to keep inspiring me too. x

  3. April 11, 2017 / 9:31 am

    Very good post yet again 🙂
    I implemented these changes a good while ago and it helped so much! One thing i didn’t expect tho were, that i actually “lost” some friends because of it. Well, in the beginning i thought i was loosing them or their value etc. but then I realized that by them turning away (because I focus on positive conversations and genuinely have a lot of good things happening in my life because of it)- they basically helped me to “filter out” the negative ones from the positive ones. So because the negative friends didnt like my positive talking etc etc, they turned away from me (which is ok).Now i have almost entirely good and uplifting people around me, which i think is great. And those negative friends: well i still get to talk to them, whenever they are ready and reach out to me. So I get to help them when they are ready. its a WIN WIN!
    thanks for the great post! 🙂 x

    • April 11, 2017 / 12:22 pm

      That’s brilliant and sounds like you’re well on the way with your Law of Attraction Journey… I’ve lost a couple of ‘friends’ along my journey too and as you say, that’s fine as it just means there is space in our lives for more positive influences to fill.. Thanks for reading and commenting which is very much appreciated! x

  4. April 10, 2017 / 10:05 pm

    What a fantastic post Wendy. Great to be reminded of the power of words and the fact that the power lies in our own choices of how we use them. I’m often guilty of being my harshest critic with self sabotaging remarks (as you well know!) but am learning to make that shift when I notice it happens. And it really does make a difference. Loving your LOA posts. xox

    • April 10, 2017 / 10:20 pm

      Thanks Miriam.. I smiled because after I posted this, I read your post and we’ve gone for synchronicity of language with ‘hope’ and ‘doubt’ featuring in both our latest posts.. There’s a message there for us both I think! I’ve definitely been ‘guilty’ of the self sabotage and it’s also something of ‘work in progress’ for me too.. it’s not always easy breaking old habits but at least I’m aware now and I consciously try to change my words when I notice myself doing it again… It sounds like your on the same path with me on this one too Miriam! xx

      • April 10, 2017 / 10:34 pm

        Oh yes, I’m definitely on the same path as you Wendy. Here’s to remembering to use those positive and empowering words … now it’s time for me to get out of bed so I can have a brilliant day ahead! Lots to do on my day off. Cheers to you my lovely inspiring friend. xo

        • April 10, 2017 / 10:38 pm

          Fabulous – have a wonderful day! For me it’s time to sleep as I keep ‘nodding off’.. So goodnight and God Bless Miriam.. my lovely friend xx

          • April 10, 2017 / 10:39 pm

            Sweet dreams Wendy. 💤 May you wake refreshed and ready for a bright new day. Big hugs xo

          • April 11, 2017 / 6:19 am

            Thanks Miriam – I spent a night searching for car keys (in my dreams) – what was my mind working on – I haven’t got a clue…. I hope you managed to get everything done on your day off and now you’re winding down for a chilled evening.. Angel Blessings and big hugs xx

          • April 11, 2017 / 6:34 am

            Well I’m glad they were only lost in your dreams Wendy and not in real life! Yes, I’ve had a productive day, got everything ticked off my list. Tonight we’re off to Doug’s brothers place (an hour away) for a family birthday dinner for his dad. I’m looking forward to it, even though I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Have a great day Wendy and keep an eye on those keys! Big hugs back xo

          • April 11, 2017 / 7:48 am

            Ticking Everything off your list – now that’s going to inspire me to do the same today! Have a fabulous evening! Maybe I’m searching for the key to unlock my door to success… now that’s a positive thought for today because I found them in the end! x

          • April 11, 2017 / 12:28 pm

            Haha, glad you found them Wendy. Well I’m just back now from a very enjoyable evening with Doug’s family. I love Doug’s dad, it feels like he’s my dad too so it was nice that we could get up there and help celebrate his birthday. Hope your Monday’s shaping up to be a great one. xo

          • April 11, 2017 / 12:33 pm

            Brilliant Miriam! I’m so glad you had a great evening spent with people you love.. there’s not much better things to do than that! I’m on an ‘at home training day’ today – expanding my knowledge and horizons so all good here today! I had a meeting yesterday with the CEO who confirmed that she wants me on board as an Auditor which is great news. I’ll be self employed but after some initial training, I’ll be freelance auditing from July hopefully which was brilliant news..
            Sleep peacefully Miri xxx

          • April 11, 2017 / 8:43 pm

            Hey Wendy, that sounds fantastic, what a fabulous opportunity. And how great to be able to train and expand your knowledge in the comfort of your own home before going out and freelancing. Sounds perfect to me. Good luck with it all. Wednesday’s begun here for me … hoping for a couple of productive days of learning. You have a good night there. Big hugs to you. xo

          • April 12, 2017 / 6:46 am

            Thanks Miriam and hope your Wednesday went well… Mine is just starting and I’m hoping the kitchen guy is going to arrive to do the finishing off of my kitchen … fingers xx and then I can show it off! haha xx I took the plunge last night to go self hosted on my blog and it should happen within the next five days… yikes scary but to do what I need to do, it has to be self hosted.. Fingers xx it all goes ok and I don’t lose everything and all my followers… Think positive Wendy!!! Much love xxxx

          • April 12, 2017 / 8:07 am

            Ohhhh, congrats to you Wendy, a big brave move and one that I bet will be good for you in the long run. Stay positive and keep your eye on those long term goals of yours, you’ll be absolutely fine. Your followers will find you wherever you go, I’ll be leading the charge. You can’t get rid of us that easy!
            Good luck with all the kitchen finishing off touches too, you must be so pleased it’s all nearly done. Must go now, we have friends coming over for dinner. It’s been a good day. Happy humpday Wendy. Hugs and lots of love xo

  5. April 10, 2017 / 9:31 pm

    Great post! Words definitely have a power to them that can be used to influence your whole mindset and people around you. Love the advice to “flip it” too 🐱💞

    • April 10, 2017 / 9:54 pm

      Thanks so much Samantha! Yep – it’s taken me a while to learn that one – flipping it definitely works! x

  6. April 10, 2017 / 7:32 pm

    I think you are on a roll with these articles. They are super motivating. I have been keeping a wee diary of the Universe’s abundant response since your second post and I am amazed at the result. There is so very much to be thankful for Wendy. xx

    • April 10, 2017 / 7:39 pm

      Wow Brigid – I’m absolutely thrilled with this comment – THANK YOU! and I’m also delighted that you have experienced and noticed some fabulous results of the Law of Attraction at it’s best.. xx

  7. April 10, 2017 / 4:50 pm

    I’ll change mine to Dutch and see what happens 🤣

    • April 10, 2017 / 5:20 pm

      Hey – just imagine… Maybe the Universe will hear you! haha xx

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