Have you noticed that some people (usually those we see as successful) really know what they want in their life. They seem totally focussed, with clear goals and action plans and everything seems to just work out for them really smoothly…..
And then there are those who like me in my earlier years when I drifted along through life without a clear focus of what I wanted and falling into jobs rather than planning for them, without a clear vision or ambition of what I wanted to do… I was a ‘late developer’ when it came to planning my career and other aspects of my life.
Finally though, I saw the light and started to put myself in the ‘driving seat’ of my life. I started to focus attention on what I wanted in my life. I found the Wheel Of Life a great tool for starting the process of gaining clarity in my life on what was going well and what needed to improve. Check out my early post on this: https://brilliancewithin.com/2016/03/02/the-wheel-of-life/.
I re-commenced my studies and at the age of 35 got my first management job and worked very hard over the next few years to achieve my ambition of becoming a Senior Manager.
If you’d asked me in the past, what it was I wanted, I may have struggled to answer the question. I think that’s fairly common for lots of people and yet We generally know what WE DON’T WANT:
- I don’t want to be poor
- I don’t want to be in debt
- I don’t want to work somewhere where my journey takes hours to get to/from work
- I don’t want to be away from my family for days on end
- I don’t want to come home every night too tired to enjoy time with my family
- I don’t want chips every night for my tea
- I don’t want to be fat
- I don’t want to be unhealthy
- etc. etc. etc…… I’m sure many of you reading this would be able to add lots more ‘don’t wants’ to this list!!
Why is it sometimes difficult for some of us to emerge from the mist and be clear on what we DO WANT? (Although I appreciate some of you reading this post may be the ones who travel easily through life with your focussed ambition, clear goals etc.)
However, if this is something you recognise in yourself and your drifting without focus you may want to try the following exercise to help you develop improved clarity in your life:
Action:
- Take a piece of paper and fold it in half or draw a line down the centre
- On the left side of the page, write a list of all the things you ‘DON’T WANT’ to be doing or experiencing in your life
- Now on the right side of the page FLIP IT… Look at what you ‘don’t want’ and then write down the opposite.
For example:
I Don’t Want To Be Unhealthy when flipped becomes I want to be healthy
I don’t want to be poor = I want to be wealthy
I don’t want to be in debt = I want to have savings
etc…
By writing down all the things you don’t want, it’s possible to become much clearer on what you do want.
The final stage of this is to then expand on the I WANT list that you’ve created. So when you say
I want to be healthy – what does this mean ?
Describe what ‘healthy’ would look like for you and then you are in a much better position to start setting Goals that will help you achieve your ambition.
Having a clear Vision helps us to start taking the actions and noticing the opportunities that will help us move toward your vision. Check out my posts on creating your Vision Board here: https://brilliancewithin.com/2016/04/26/how-to-create-a-dream-vision-board/
For me, becoming ‘healthier’ was a significant lifestyle change and involved reviewing how I was living my life and then setting some clear goals around losing weight, taking up exercise, improving my work/life balance. I’d drifted along without any clarity – I knew I didn’t want to be ‘fat’ but didn’t have a clear vision about what ‘healthy’ looked like for me. Having done this exercise, I was able to set a clear goal:
Goal:
To lose 3 stone in weight & To reverse my diabetes and bring the blood sugar readings back into ‘normal’ range.
Once I changed this and became clear about what I WANTED, for the first time in a long time, I was able to set some very focussed goals and then develop an Action Plan detailing precisely what I needed to do to achieve that Goal. Taking this action has enabled me to start losing my excess weight (1 stone 6 pounds lighter) and start to reverse my diabetes.
Clarity really is an important key which enables us to start being pro-active in order to create the life we desire.
Love this post! Great advice, thank you.
Fabulous Belle – I’m so glad you enjoyed it! x
Brilliant ideas here, Wendy!
Thanks Ms A – have a brilliant week! x
Clarity n purpose do matter , agree absolutely with you , Great read Wendy !
Good for you Wendy! I hope you’re able to post more about your success on reversing diabetes. It’s something a lot of people struggle with and you have such a positive approach to dealing with it. I wish you all the best.
Thanks so much and you’re right – I hadn’t realised how much some people are struggling until recently when I attended a Diabetes awareness class. I think maybe I’ll take your advice and post some more about this.. Thanks for inspiring! much appreciated xx
For sure. I worked on a World Health program in the South Pacific to raise awareness of diabetes. That’s why all my recipes are tailored with that in mind. I’m looking forward to following your blog!
Wow – I’m looking forward to following your ‘tailored’ recipes too. I’ve been on a ‘low carb’ which has worked really well.. Much appreciated x
I think this is such an important point to make. When we speak in the negative we tend to attract the negative but when we flit it and instead focus on the positives we want to bring into our lives it is much easier to attract wealth, success, health, etc.
Absolutely Zoey. I’m a great believer in ‘what you focus on is what you get’… I wrote a post about my ‘vision board magic’ if you haven’t previously read it you may find it of interest.. https://brilliancewithin.com/2016/03/16/how-i-created-my-first-vision-board-magic/
I shall do this exercise this afternoon. Many thanks for the inspiration…
Brilliant – let me know how it goes! xx
Great post and helpful tips. Insightful.
I think i woke up at 16. But then life changed and plans had to change.
I think pen and paper are my best friends for figuring out life and talking to myself and checking in. It is my best way of staying on track and adjusting as life happens and being more resilliant and going with the flow.
Enjoyed this post gave me more to think about.
Regards bella
Fabulous – You’re clearly on a great track Bella.. xx
HI! I have nominated you for Sunshine blogger award. Here the link: https://moonlightpsychology.com/2016/09/27/sunshine-blogger-award-1/
If you don´t like this kind of award or you don´t want to prepare a post about, don´t worry. It´s fine. I think your blog is great, that´s all!. Congratulations!
Thanks so much for nominating me Paula – I really appreciate your recognition of my blog and am honoured by the nomination. I am going to decline only because I’ve done this award previously.. I hope you don’t mind? Thanks again for taking the time to read my posts and make such lovely comments though! xx
Don´t worry, it´s fine of course. I´m glad to hear that you had the award. Great blog!! Congratulations! 🙂
Thanks for understanding Paula – very much appreciated! x
http://www.pacificcoinexchange.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Buy-Gold-Buy-Silver-achieve-your-goals.jpg
Wendy, I liked the Flip Side of your experiment.
You are so right to advise us to Set Clear Goals and no ramble about with Life.
For me I rambled about too long before realising a better way to plan my life.. Better late than never though xx
A very thought provoking post and a great exercise in working out what we do and don’t want. You’re right, it’s too easy to wander aimlessly through life. Sometimes we have to be pro-active, consciously stop and determine our goals. I’m still working out mine even after all these years! Wonderful post Wendy. xo
Thanks Miriam – yep – It took me for too long to learn a better way and actually ‘direct’ my life a little bit better.. Although sometimes it’s still good to just ‘go with the flow’… xx
Yes a bit of both is good. Focus and acceptance. 😊❤️
Perfect! xx