“Look At The State Of You”

“Look At The State Of You”

“Look at the state of you”….    “Stop getting into such a state”

These are ‘Statements’ that are often used in a critical and/or derogatory way from one person to another…

The Dictionary defines ‘state’ when used as a Noun as:

Def: The particular condition that someone or something is in at a specific time.

Then there are ‘States’ i.e. Nations or territories which are ‘governed’ and lead to phrases like: ‘Head of State’ and ‘State Owned’

Although ‘STATE’ is a small word made up of only 4 different letters, it can have MASSIVE impact both in terms of the personal effect on our emotions and on the ‘rules’ that are imposed upon us by ‘THE STATE’…

 (Trick – I can count…  ‘T’ is used twice.. just checking if you were in an ‘ALERT STATE OF MIND’…haha!)

Our personal ‘State’ is linked closely to our emotions and is often reflected in our body language. Have you ever noticed someone who is in a ‘Depressed STATE’ and been able to tell they were ‘depressed’ just from the way they move or talk?

Or have you felt ‘uplifted’ yourself having met someone who is in an ‘Exhilarated STATE’?

Physiology of:

Depressed STATE: Shoulders drooped, slow walking or slumped in a chair, flat and expressionless tone of voice, head down….

‘Exhilarated STATE’: Head Up, Face lit up – smiling and bright eyes, shoulders back, walking tall or sat upright in chair, talking quickly with lots of ‘expression’ in their tone of voice….

So our personal ‘STATE’ can be obvious to those around us and has the power to ‘lift or depress’ both ourselves and others in our lives. Our STATE is often depicted by us without our conscious awareness through our subconscious use of our ‘physiology’.

CHALLENGE: Look at the pictures below and see if you can ‘read’ the ‘state’ of my granddaughters just from their physiology:

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Now think about it for yourself and ….

Look At The State You Are In..


If your answer is that it’s a ‘Negative State’ then is it time to become your own HEAD OF STATE and take control of your personal territory by changing your ‘physiology’?

I’m not saying that there aren’t times when we should be honest about what we’re feeling. Clearly when we suffer the loss of a relationship, a person, a pet etc. we will feel a bereaved, sad, devastated ….. It’s important that we recognise the need to release and show those emotions and to give someone support during these times.

Then there are times when we feel angry at someone or something or maybe we’re having a ‘one off’ bad day and feel particularly hormonal or grumpy – that’s all part of life.

I’m not suggesting here that everybody should spend every day being ‘happy clappy’ as particularly here in the UK and definitely in this Northern City of Manchester, people would think we were bordering on insanity if we became permanent ‘cheer leaders’ “Yee Haa”…. (stiff upper lip and all that!!)

What I’m referring to in this post is where we get ‘stuck in a habit’ without real cause and without even realising it. It’s easy to develop a subconscious pattern of language and behaviour which we regularly repeat without realising it.

When our behaviour has been linked to our physiology, it reflects in our emotional ‘state’.

Try this exercise standing in front of a long mirror and for a few moments just pretend to be ‘an actor’…

  1.  Stand with your shoulders back, head held high and smile or laugh at your reflection.
  2. Change your physiology and now droop your shoulders and head, put on a ‘sad face’ – yep really miserable…feeling very glum…
  3. Now stand even taller than you did the first time, pretend to laugh really loud – go for it – shake your shoulders and ‘wobble your belly’ with laughter (mine wobbles a lot!!) – go on – LAUGH OUT LOUD – No – I mean …… REALLY LOUD!!! “Aghhhhahahahahaha….. (I can see you – hilarious!!!)”

How did changing your ‘physiology’ make you feel?

It is scientifically proven that pretending to smile whether we feel like it or not, initiates the release of ‘serotonin’ in our bodies (serotonin is the ‘feel good’ chemical’ linked to feeling ‘happy’)

It has been proven that it Really Is possible to ‘CHANGE THE STATE WE ARE IN’ by consciously noticing our ‘physiology’ and then consciously changing it?

Have you noticed that some (quite a few) people don’t need an excuse to be sad? You ask them: “How are you” and they reply……. “not bad” – spoken with a ‘flat’ tone of voice…. Doesn’t this just make you feel a bit ‘bad’ too… We are often WELL PRACTICED at this acceptance of being “not bad” or just “ok”.

When someone says they are “not bad”does that mean then that they “are good”? Why then do we go along with their glum face and flat tone of voice and accept that although verbally they are in effect telling us that they “are good” if they are “not bad” (if you get my drift..) but we say “oh that’s a shame – I hope things get a bit better..” – I wonder how they would react if we instead responded:

“Oh wow – not bad – that means you feel good – FANTASTIC!!” …….

(I’m going to try this next time someone says ‘not bad’ and see if I get punched – I’ll let you know..)

Notice the difference in how it makes you feel yourself when you ask someone: “How are you” and they answer… “BRILLIANT – thanks for asking” with a smile and lots of ‘uplift’ in their tone of voice? – Doesn’t it instantly make you feel better yourself?

I’m sure you will have heard the saying that ‘Laughter is the BEST medicine’.. There is so much truth in these old wives tales and now you can even go on Laughter Therapy Courses which have been developed in recognition of the positive benefit laughing can have on our emotional STATE..

Laughter is SO contagious and hearing someone else laugh can invoke the laughter in yourself. For anyone who ever went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach – did you see the ‘laughing policeman’? I can still remember the sound of laughter and the wobbling belly of that plastic laughing dummy in the glass case – it never failed to make me laugh my head off … What about when you hear that baby start to giggle – it’s impossible not to smile or laugh too isn’t it?

Laughter Therapy is said to ‘boost health, communication, positive thinking and creativity’ – I think I may have just stumbled upon my destined career path!!

So Back to THE STATE OF YOU….. Stop for a moment and consider the impact your ‘state’ is having on yourself and others in your territory/STATE…

  • Is your ‘state’ reflected in your tone of voice and your body language?
  • Do you want to have a negative or positive impact on yourself and those around you?

Maybe it’s time for you to CONSCIOUSLY change “The state of YOU”!

You really don’t need and excuse to ‘be happy’ and it’s possible to ‘be happy’ by practicing building up those ‘happy muscles’ by ‘pretending’ that you’re in an ‘ AMAZING STATE’ and consciously changing how you feel emotionally by changing your physiology.

  • Release the Serotonin in your body by pretending to ‘feel happy’ and reflecting this in the CONSCIOUS use of your muscles.

Practice being ‘conscious’ of your body language and your tone of voice.

  • If you notice that when you speak it’s a bit slow with no ‘uplift’ in your tone, just change it by ‘consciously’ speaking a bit faster and putting some ‘uplift’ into your tone.
  • Consciously remind yourself to smile even when you don’t feel like it and keep practicing this simple change – before long it will start to become automatic and in the meantime, you are still physically releasing ‘happy chemicals’ into your body even if your ’emotions’ take a bit of time to catch up.
  • When you’re walking, be conscious of how quickly you are pacing yourself – walk faster and firmer (not shuffling your feet) with your head held high and your shoulders back.
  • Dare to challenge your sub-conscious beliefs and the Negative Committee in your head! –

Practice building new Emotional Muscles and taking control of YOUR STATE by changing your physiology.

Take the time to MASTER YOUR STATE – if you do this you really can do anything you want!


  • The  key to living a great life is learning to manage your STATE. 80% of success is psychology – your mindset, your emotions and 20% is the mechanics. Most people know what they need to do but don’t do it because they don’t change their state.  Quote: Anthony Robbins

Be Master of your state

 I’ll let you into a secret…… but don’t tell anyone – my dad would not be happy looking down from his magical moonbeam…

This last meme is a picture of my dad many moons ago.. he was a ‘master of trickery’ and this photo is of him pretending to climb the mountain when really it was a ‘flat rock’ and just the angle of the camera that makes him look daring….. I think he inspired my MISCHIEVOUS STATE


Please help me to achieve a HAPPY STATE and leave me a comment below! I’d love to hear from you…Cheers! x ….. I’m already smiling – thanks! x









  1. September 5, 2016 / 12:04 pm

    Wonderful post Wendy with lots of terrific advice here. I definitely agree about body language affecting our moods. Just need to be more conscious of it. xo

    • September 10, 2016 / 12:53 pm

      Hi Miriam – so sorry – I missed this comment previously… Thanks for taking the time out to comment and I’m sorry about the delayed response.. I tried this going into a job interview once – I changed my body language to copy that of Joanna Lumley who always seems so tall, elegant and confident – I got the job (subsequently wished I hadn’t though – haha!). Have a good weekend. xx

      • September 10, 2016 / 2:00 pm

        No need to apologize Wendy. And yes, I agree about body language. Hope you enjoy your weekend. ♥

        • September 10, 2016 / 3:00 pm

          Thanks Miriam.. xx

  2. September 3, 2016 / 10:57 am

    Great post with some great advice.

    • September 3, 2016 / 12:06 pm

      Thanks – I’m really glad you thought so! Much appreciated and have a fab weekend! x

  3. September 2, 2016 / 4:45 pm

    A great well written post. I think mischievious (spelling? )is the state of play with your grand daughters! I will try the exercises in front of my mirror.

    • September 2, 2016 / 5:01 pm

      I think you could be right – mischievous (no 2nd i …according to spell checker anyway..) is definitely the ‘state of play’! I can’t wait to hear how you go on with the ‘mirror’… I hope to hear you ‘laughing loud’ all the way here in Manchester! x

    • September 2, 2016 / 4:38 pm

      Thanks Ms A – I’m glad you enjoyed the post and definitely a case of Me too – there are always those moments when it’s a case of ‘do as I say not as I do’ – I’m ‘work in progress!’ – I have the info but don’t always put it into practice… Have a brilliant weekend xx

      • September 2, 2016 / 5:12 pm

        I’m hormonal…all I want is sugar and naps hahaha

        For inspiration for mirror dancing, check out the epicness of this Celtic inspired music Never fails to get my energy up and a smile on my face 🙂

        Have a lovely weekend, gal x

        • September 2, 2016 / 5:38 pm

          Are you dancing? I’m dancing?….. oh NO I’m wobbling… Laughing very loud in that mirror – can you hear me? xx

        • September 2, 2016 / 5:39 pm

          ps – I’m not laughing at the ‘hormonal’ influence though – keep up with the sugar! xx

  4. September 2, 2016 / 3:53 pm

    Interesting post. Never thought how changing our body language can change our state of being. I do take moments in the day to evaluate my frame of mind and mood. Escpecially after a bad or uncomfortable moment to avoid a bad moment ruining an other wise good day.

    Have a good weekend.

    • September 2, 2016 / 4:35 pm

      Fab – I’m glad you found some interest in this post and yes definitely ‘changing our body language links to our emotional state so worth ‘checking in’ as you already do. In the ‘old days’ they would use a shock tactic like slapping someone round the face who was building up to a ‘hysterical state’ to stop them – I’m not sure we’d get away with that method any more… Hope you have a brilliant weekend too! x

  5. September 2, 2016 / 3:09 pm

    Wonderful post with some great reminders!
    🙂 Definitely going to try your reply to “Not too bad”!

    • September 2, 2016 / 4:31 pm

      Thanks Samantha – haha – let me know how you get on with the ‘not too bad’.. response although I accept no responsibility if you do get punched … hehe! x

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